Jaws the Panto Review

Jaws: The Panto

Review by Nic Lamont

A Great White Success!

Though the air may have been chilly, the anticipation was hot entering the Spotlites Theatre on Sunday afternoon. As a panto veteran and a huge Jaws fan, and after the recent segment on the national news, I was going to see this show come hell or high shark-infested water.

After setting the tone with an audience interaction opening number we find ourselves not in Amity Island, but just down the road in Twydall, where we are served up some impressive rock vocals from The Mayor (Timothy Grant, who played a great frustrated councilman) and local lad Basil (Nicky Sutton, who’s gentle character garnered many an ‘aww’). The Mayor has a plan for a water-based boost in tourism. The swapping of the lyrics of ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’ to ‘Twydall River Fair’ absolutely delighted the audience.

We meet Hooper (David Stokes), a Welsh ichthyologist who lectures at the local college and warns of a shark sighting in the river Medway. Stokes has a brilliantly warm energy and always managed to engage the crowd. To complete the trio made famous in Spielberg’s epic, we have Brody (Destiny Coffey) as a young, glossy-haired constable on the beat, played with some lovely realism and Quint (Jonathan Ash) the perfect salty seadog, or should that be Vending Machine Repairman, who’s briny quips and shanties had us hook, line and sinker.

Now, I love a bearded queen… and our Dame, Chip Shop Owner Clamydia Hammock did not disappoint. Rocking a perfect set of blonde curls and a sensible trainer, Clamydia was a salt-(and vinegar)-of-the-earth, woman of Medway. Dave Hutley had such a natural rapport with the audience and more Chatham Sass than you could shake a battered haddock at. I would buy a front row seat for this drag show. Praise is due for whoever constructed Clamydia’s goldfish couture in the second half.

Do we need a panto villain? Oh yes we do! And this performance had TWO! Make way for Cruella de Kent, Mayor of Tonbridge Wells, a shades and kaftan wearing snob who is determined to take down the Twydall River Fair in favour of her own event over in posh Kent. Played by Kieron Riddell, who always brings the utmost conviction, professionalism, and boundless energy; it was as if The Incredibles’s Enda Mode had downed too many pretentious coffees. The rapturous ‘Boos’ were well deserved. Cruella is unmasked as the sharp-toothed scourge of the river but PLOT TWIST, a bigger badder baddie lurks in the water… Shea Coffey brings us The Shark. With a dying speech worthy of the RSC, sequins and adorable little flappy fins, we couldn’t help but love this great Great White.

We see Sharon Jackson getting the scoop as Lotta Tittle Tattle, skilfully giving us a slick journalist worthy of the next Harlan Coben series. And giving the scoop, is Rachel Norman as Sundae Best, a local experimental ice cream seller with some rather suspect flavour combinations. Her interjections showed great comic timing. Praise for the creator of the prop ice-creams – were they knitted?! So darn cute. Kaitlyn Sutton played the fatefully named Anita Liferaft (gosh I love puns) with great energy and a perfect Californian surfer drawl. Dude.

Hats off to David Stokes for writing a script that juggles film parody, panto conventions and local references (my favourite being our villain’s exiting quip: “Oh go put a traffic cone on a statue!”). The structure was solid – we had our opening stakes, we had our cliffhanger before the interval, and we had our fairytale (if slightly fishy) wedding ending.

Moments of directorial brilliance from wearer of many hats (quite literally) Kieron Riddell included the shark attack scenes, where a wafted blue fabric served as the sea, and on the shark’s impact, a burst of red confetti and thrown body part saw the victim’s end. I was almost biffed in the face by a flying dismembered foot – AND I LOVED IT!

This was a ‘pay-what-you-feel’ fundraising performance produced by Shea Coffey and Rainbows Over Medway. They are funding a scholarship for one young person to be able to attend Spotlites training for a year who would not otherwise be able to afford it. The cast and team gave their free time to do this. Were lines missed? Sure! Was the script at times chaotically thrown overboard? Definitely! But the amount of polish really didn’t matter here. I felt the infectious joy of those involved, a lot of local pride and a sense of satisfaction in a piece of theatre doing some good.

I look forward to next year’s cult film panto, which was revealed to us on Sunday. No spoilers here but I’m sure it will be out of this world…